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Escape from the Kickflip

Stay Wild

Expanding My Perception of Skateboarding

Story by Sam Sawyer // @samsawyer

Photos by Caleb Keller // @calebkellerphotos & Matt Smith // @matthewgsmithphoto

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I can’t kickflip anymore, at least not in a way that looks cool. At 39, I can still do many of the skate tricks I’d fought so hard to learn in my youth, an undeniable victory in the inevitable loss that will come with the battle against time, age, decay, and death. When I was 30, I broke my flip ankle (skaters typically use their front foot to flick the board in directions that send it in controlled off-axis flips and spins) while skating and it didn’t heal properly. Now it just doesn’t work to do a proper kickflip. Undeniably middle-aged, I’ve learned to accept the deleterious changes that are unavoidable in my body. Skateboarding, the very thing that put me face to face with the downfall of my athletic prowess, is what has taught me to celebrate the amazing shifts in perception, attitude, and understanding that age brings. 

Skateboarding has always been a means of escape. Growing up in the suburbs, I was in a perpetual state of boredom with the feeling that I was out of place, which is a weird feeling for a 12-year-old because at that time, there was no way to know what else is out there; one just had the feeling that there must be more. I mean, my cultural awareness was limited to what I saw on basic cable and heard on Beastie Boys records. But one thing I knew for sure is that I wanted out. And it turned out I wasn’t alone. Elementary school would turn to junior high, and junior high to high school. And with those changes, bigger and bigger pools of like-minded misfits would converge and form bigger and bigger skate crews. Through a shared love of skateboarding and truancy, I found my people. And my escape from the suburbs to a new and exciting terrain: the city.

Like invading regattas of pimpled potty-mouths from the suburbs, we would cram into beat-up, hand-me-down Honda Civics and Toyota Tercels like clown cars and explore downtown’s vastly superior collection of concrete barriers, benches, curb-cuts, stairs, handrails, parking blocks, gaps, sidewalk bumps, and any number of tediously esoteric features that only a skateboard enthusiast would look at and feel the need to spend entire afternoons attempting one trick over and over again until they landed it. One thing people who aren’t skaters completely miss about skateboarding is that much of the beauty in this activity lies in the reimagining of urban spaces for something entirely new. Benches are no longer just for sitting. Handrails now offer an entirely new form of support. We are a troupe of improv dancers whose stage is the entire urban landscape. We just see the world differently and obsess about things that most people miss.

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My idea of what skateboarding meant was fixed for most of my life. To my friends and I, skateboarding was very strictly boards shaped like popsicle sticks with an upturned nose and tail meant to ollie, flip, grind, and slide. It was most certainly not longboards, plastic boards, Ripsticks, electric skateboards, hoverboards, or scooters. Skateboarding meant exploring new, exciting urban areas full of challenging obstacles that we could freestyle through much like John Coltrane would wander through musical scales and found beautiful, unexpected new pathways to your ears. It was not pushing mongo (to push mongo is to push your skateboard with your front foot instead of your back—very unstylish) around a college campus on a board so big it barely fits in your trunk. Looking back, I’m ashamed as I see that restrictive attitude goes against the very thing that I loved about skateboarding: Skateboarding can be whatever you need it to be. And I needed it to be a cultural escape and a fixed personal identity.

Since I was 18, I’ve spent every moment of my life living in a decidedly urban area. I can directly attribute skateboarding for being my ticket out of a place that was simply not a path to happiness or personal growth for me, and for finding a place in life that makes me feel inspired and fulfilled. Everyone should be so lucky. Throughout my adult life as a skater, my once-strict stance on what skateboarding is and is not has softened because of other people sharing their experience with skating. Because skateboarding is whatever a person needs it to be, I’ve learned to embrace alternative board shapes, styles, wheel hardnesses, and other esoteric things about skateboarding I once thought was lame. I’ve found so much satisfaction and personal growth in bringing a weird-shaped board to a skate spot that I thought I knew intimately on my “normal” board. I find new lines through skateparks and bowls on boards that 10 years ago, I would have turned my twice-broken nose (thanks again, skateboarding) up at. I have a board so small that it fits in my carry-on and I bring with me on every work trip so that I can explore the foreign city from a familiar position: on a board. Viewing the world as a skateboarder has taught me to appreciate, embrace, and love the change that life brings.

A  crew of skaters from Arbor Skateboards invited me on this skate/camp trip to the desert at the base of Mount Whitney, about four hours north of my home in Los Angeles, to an area called the Alabama Hills. I didn’t know any of the people going on the trip very well, but I wasn’t worried about that. If you’re an adult and still skate, you will most certainly find common ground and a new friend with me. Near the Alabama Hills, there isn’t much going on outside of a lot of pride for the John Wayne westerns that were filmed there and a network of empty mountain roads. A skate trip to the desert? Sure, I guess—but what would we skate? There’s a tiny skatepark nearby, but not one worth traveling for. There was certainly no urban wasteland to shred through. But, just like all things through skateboarding, I would learn to repurpose my surroundings. The hills.

Our camp spot, nestled in a maze of massive sand-colored boulders, the smallest ones as big as my truck, became home base for the trip. Huddled around a fire, we got to know one another as well as we got to know the giant bottle of whiskey (and the giant joints that kept mysteriously appearing) that we shared over a couple of nights—very well. Topics of discussion were varied, but our experiences with skateboarding, the magical thing that brought us all together for this trip, was the topic we came back to over and over. A lot of talk of the golden years, unavoidable for people near-or-approaching middle age, but one thread that I found to be enlightening was the idea of having a skateboard quiver. Essentially, it’s a right tool for the job ethos that when applied to skateboarding, would amount to owning a variety of skateboards, each for different uses. A “normal” trick skateboard sure, but also setups that are better equipped for rough roads, short trips, long hills, travel, or any number of other considerations that would make a “normal” popsicle stick-shaped board a poor choice. Surfers figured out decades ago that by owning a variety of differently-shaped surfboards, they could tune any given surf session to their personal ability, style, preference, wave shape, or wave conditions through a quiver of different boards, maximizing their experience in the water. Why had this idea never occurred to me with regard to skating? This was the ideological explanation I didn’t even know I was looking for. 

We had left Los Angeles to find a quick dose of nature and mountain roads steep enough to give ourselves over to gravity. We found ourselves in a classic two birds, one stone situation driving up to the Mount Whitney Trailhead. The roads were steeper than I’d ever skated down and more beautiful than any place I’d ever imagined where I’d have a skateboard under my feet. After dispatching all available adrenaline to all parts of our bodies with some classic hill bombs, we managed to make our way to the Mt. Whitney Trailhead for a “light” hike. We, a ragtag group of skaters not suitably prepared for the hike we were about to embark upon, headed up to Lone Pine Lake, mostly in holey skate shoes. Not all of us made it to the top, but those who did were rewarded with a lite Mexican lager, a handful of nuts, and the most beautiful high alpine lake I’ve ever seen. Our group’s most accomplished outdoorsman, Tom, is a fly fishing guide and brought two fly rigs. We didn’t catch anything worth eating or bragging about from the lake, but what fish we did catch were a perfect metaphor for this trip: unexpected and beautiful. There was plenty to reflect upon staring into the lake.

Bombing down empty desert mountain roads, while not technically challenging, was easily the most fun I’d had on a skateboard in years. I was reminded as to why I started skateboarding in the suburbs of Minneapolis over 30 years ago: as a means of escape. Escape from the banal realities of the suburbs and escape from the pre-assigned usage of the cities I’ve loved living in. Only this time, I was escaping from the sometimes-oppressive realities of being a real adult with real responsibility in a really big city. I shouldn’t have been surprised that the simple act of speeding down a hill on a skateboard, in a beautifully-desolate landscape, would provide me with such an emotional release and a much-needed escape from reality, but I was. Skateboarding has, once again, provided me with an outlet to find inner peace. Even with a bad ankle. 

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This story was made with help from our friends at Arbor Collective

@arborcollective // arborcollective.com

People of the Blue-Green Waters

Stay Wild

The Overlooked Side of Havasupai

Story and Photos by Sera Lindsey // @portablesera 

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“Havasupai” or “Havasu Baaja” translates into English as “people of the blue-green waters.” The Havasupai tribe have lived within the arms of the Grand Canyon for over 1,000 years. 


If you check the #havasufalls hashtag on social media, you’ll be sure to see plenty of arms-out-in-wonder, yoga poses, selfie sticks, and inspirational quotes. What you likely won’t see much of is the Supai Village reservation. Those who live there have been historically subjugated by broken treaties, cultural exploitation, and governmental abuse. Though they live within one of the most stunning geographical locations I’ve ever beheld, they exist in extreme poverty. The town has a small school and church, both crudely spray painted over by locals with words of spite and anger. Hungry and overworked horses chew on trees. People are deprived of healthy food, with no access to produce so far down in the canyon. What once was the land of the blue-green waters and rich giving earth is now another checked-off item on a bucket list. This place and its people receive so little notice, save for those who wish to showcase waterfalls, and nothing more. 

While there, I saw a young boy gazing out at the land he calls home. He stood less than a mile from a tourist camp. Beer cans, grocery store sandwich wrappers, and empty chip bags were left as tips in this pack-in-pack-out campsite. Bloated squirrels loitered at every turn. I saw garbage blossoming from the top of compost toilets and explosions of litter along the sidelines of the trail. While hiking, I breathed in the trash fumes as they baked in the Arizona sun. So little is asked for, and even less is given. 

There is a great chasm between experience and awareness. The excitement and hunger of showcasing a new adventure dramatically sways our moral compass. Witnessing the lack of learning is disheartening. Travel is planning, and offers a clear opportunity to gain knowledge of a place and its people. The need to protect and preserve is real. 

Swimming in the Havasupai water and seeing several “NO DRONES” and “NO DIVING” signs may seem like guidelines to some. But maintaining these last sparks of sacred land is much cooler than doing a backflip into it. These aren’t just requests to fulfill, but acts of respect to uphold. 

My thoughts are with those who suffer the greed of the world, so many of them living as stewards of a complex beauty that they hardly have space to experience themselves. I hope we may all recognize the need to act with reverence and awareness—even when it costs us a few double taps. 

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Learn more about these indigenous people // theofficialhavasupaitribe.com

Bite by Bite

Stay Wild

Defeating Doubt on Two Wheels

Story and photos by Cierra Xavier // @c_xavier

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“How do you eat an elephant?” Without having much time to reply to my boyfriend Dylan’s question, he quickly responded with, “Bite by bite.” I remember stubbornly feeling frustrated because I knew he was right. Most obstacles can be overcome if you work little by little, and I needed to adopt this mentality in order to prepare for the big bike journey ahead.

After a few New Year’s Eve drinks in Big Sur last year, Dylan, our friend Alex, and I agreed to do a bike tour down the coast of California. Unlike most drunken promises, this one held true. We were all in. From that moment on, I was filled with excitement—but also terrified—and I couldn’t help but fall into the quicksand of my anxious mind. “What if I’m not strong enough? What if I can’t ride the entire way? But what if…?” Inevitably, the thought of never trying outweighed all the what-ifs—and how could I face the what-ifs without even attempting? 

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The Pacific coast of California is an extremely popular route for cyclists; our tour would take us roughly 520 miles from San Francisco to Long Beach. This was my first long distance bike tour and one that’s been on my bucket list for over six years. By late May, I was running on little training or preparation when I met Dylan, Alex, and Daniel (our friend from New York who flew in to ride with us) on the north side of the Golden Gate Bridge and began the journey that we’d committed to five months earlier. My hands were shaking, but I quickly realized that my fear and anticipated failure quickly subsided once we began to log some serious miles. Riding long distance is similar to any other bike ride; you just never turn around. 

Early on in the trip, we got word from a friend who’d ridden the coast a week prior and had walked his bike (illegally) across the Big Sur closure. Until then, we weren’t really sure how we’d get past the Mud Creek slide—a closure just south of Gorda where 75 acres of land fell off the rugged coastline, completely decimating Highway 1. We weighed our options: face an extensive detour that would take us inland and included a grueling climb up Nacimiento-Fergusson, or pay for an overpriced shuttle that would drive us all the way around the detour. The decision was made in seconds—we’d attempt to cross the slide. 

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The only catch to crossing the slide was that we’d have to wait until construction was over and workers were gone for the day. It was 12:45 on day five of the tour when we arrived in Gorda, and we’d already ridden over 200 miles south from the Golden Gate Bridge, making it through the majority of Big Sur’s magical coastline. Feeling impatient, we tried our hand at bribery. Dylan approached a construction worker sitting in a small white car, offering him $60 to let us pass. A shake of his head said it all. Crap. We had another four hours to kill before the work construction crew went home for the day.

At about 5:30, the four of us hiked out from the shelter of the cypress trees we found on the bluff and rode back into Gorda. The little white car that the construction guard sat in was gone. Here was our chance! We snuck around the gate and rode swiftly past the road closure signs. My heart knocked wildly in my chest as we rode the two miles between where the highway was closed, and where the slide actually started. The devastation was massive: 100 yards of rocks and rubble covered the highway, and you could clearly see the vast portion of the hillside that had fallen into the water below—creating a new surf break for the locals. This was unreal! We unloaded our bags, threw our empty bikes over our shoulders, and began to walk our bikes and gear across the rock-covered highway. 

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We passed the closed gate on the south side of the road closure just as the sun started to set over the ocean, beginning the steady ascent up to Ragged Point. There wasn’t another car, bicycle, building, or person in sight for miles. This must have been what PCH was like in the ‘30s! Just us, cruising, laughing, and high-fiving across California’s highway that’s normally crowded with selfie-taking-tourists. It was just getting dark by the time we hit Ragged Point. Fueled with excitement, we continued to pedal for miles into the night guided by an empty moonlit highway.

My tires hummed along a vacant California highway under a luminous Flower Moon. It was such a simple moment, but I felt completely empowered. We had made it past the most challenging part of the ride, and all the fear and what-ifs were gone. Thousands of cyclists complete this same bike tour every year, yet I knew my experience was unique. You’ll never know “what if” unless you try. Proving to myself that I can overcome any great challenge, this adventure is one that I will remember for a lifetime. 

Human Thought is a Geological Force

Stay Wild

Seeking Water in the Colorado River Basin

Story by Joal Stein // @Joal______

Photos by Sarah Lewis // @sarleww

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LAKE POWELL

I turn to my traveling companions, Sara and Sarah, and mouth, “Wow.” We have just driven over the Glen Canyon Dam and are crossing from Page, Arizona into Utah towards Lone Rock Campground. The line of RVs and campers lined at the shore resembles a combination of the movie Twister and Burning Man: storm-chasers and extreme campers as gray clouds roil overhead and dust pelts our faces. There’s no way we’ll make it through the night in our tents.

The next day we rent a pontoon boat to explore the bays and canyons in this sprawling reservoir. As the employee gives us the mandatory instructions on how to operate the boat, I am barely paying attention because I’m trying to imagine a once barren brown-and-red desert landscape—a time before the construction of the dam in 1963 backed up the Colorado River and flooded this region. Gliding into the bay and along the wind-swept canyon walls, my eyes catch the transmission lines studded along the ridges, evidence that this is not just a recreational area for the adventure-minded, but a site of power generation. Another link along the Colorado River Basin that powers much of the Southwestern United States in a long chain of infrastructure. 

When they dammed and flooded this area 55 years ago after a long-fought environmental battle, they did so with the expectation that the Colorado River would flow as it does, with the same capacity, for as long as they needed it. Climate change alters this story. Staring at the gradient of hues and chalk-rings roped around the canyons, it’s apparent that the water level is dropping further and further down. Lake Powell is drying up as the summers get hotter and dryer.

As those expectations of control and predictability over nature are undermined and the water subsides, revealed are the fossils, spear tips, and rocks of past ages and societies. There is a whole world that lives underwater in the riverbeds and imprinted on ancient rocks. What cultures live submerged in this canyon? What are the past truths and histories that those engineers and politicians—this society—chose to drown? 

A sense of future grief settles into me. Climate change is not simply the warming of a planet but also the disruption of systems: of droughts, wildfires, flooding, heat, cold, and a planet being pushed to the extremes because a society pushed to engineer and strangle it. It’s a grim truth that is becoming harder and harder to drown. 

The dam was just one engineering project of thousands that were built with the purpose of taming the Colorado River to provide power and water for the bulging communities of the Southwest. All rivers—in their natural state—meander, flow, and change course over geologic time, an alluvial fan that spreads nutrients and carves canyons before depositing into oceans and gulfs. Here, a large watershed has been transformed into an engineered system designed to suit the needs of human settlements.

The boat turns a corner into a sublime sandbar beach with slot canyons and large boulders spilling down them. It’s a humbling sight that is both extraterrestrial and familiar. We park the boat on the sand, rambling sun (and wine) drunk somewhere in between the sky and the sand. I once looked up in awe at the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel, those famous frescos designed to elicit reverence. Surely national parks and public lands must be the cathedrals of the American West, serving a similar function. 

The land is almost speaking to me: I am asking you to slow down. I need you to slow down. 

In this grand chamber of lengthening shadows

hides a mythic grace, emblazoned

blue hues streaking down the

slot canyons running

into their reflections. 

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ZION

The naming of a place reveals something about the people that look upon it. Zion reveals itself slowly as you go deeper into the valley, following the course of gravity into a land of textured rock and lush greenery. 

I ask the shop steward at the entrance of the park if Mormons named it Zion.

“No,” she replies, “It was Taft, or maybe Wilson. One of those presidents. Renamed to appeal to white Mormons and attract more tourists.”

“Ah.”

This is an ancient place like many other confluences and tributaries—an oasis in an otherwise harsh environment where a certain kind of life emerges. This particular place has had multiple names, similar to how people in many cultures are bestowed new names at different milestones throughout their lives. It was once Mukuntuweap and now it is Zion. It challenges the sense of a fixed identity, a fixed person, or a fixed place. It is changing and so will I.

I play the childhood game of trying to hold my breath as we pass through the Zion-Mount Carmel tunnel, quickly giving up since it stretches for 1.1 miles, with periodic cuts into its rock walls giving you a shuttering glimpse of the arches, sunlight, and switchbacks of the Pine Creek Valley. I am now pacing my breath to match the rhythm of these frames, trying to navigate an inner landscape of thought and memory. 

If I were a dishonest writer I would tell you that this is the beginning of my journey towards self-discovery through travel. I am not a dishonest writer so to tell you this would be bullshit. At this moment, driving through Zion, I am mostly annoyed with the traffic and desperately looking for water.

Hiking towards Lower Pine Creek Falls, I’m reminded of Edward Abbey’s caustic quote, “You can’t see anything from a car; you’ve got to get out of the goddamned contraption and walk, better yet crawl, on hands and knees, over the sandstone and through the thornbush and cactus.” But it is unbearably hot, and it’s a relief when we reach our intended destination.

Wind and water are a potter’s thumb

guiding earth as it spins

and memories are like a river

coursing themselves a path

into deeper canyons

recesses of sediment

and sentiments

the unfolding of life sanding down,

washing away,

slipping under,

reaching out and

growing crooked towards the sun.

Mountains frosted by watercolor clouds, 

sticky and rich,

illuminated by a palette of a

solicitous gradient sunset

and somewhere is an old woman

picking up the beads strung along

the oceans of

our most inner selves

As the dawn awakes and once again

the world is devoured

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Grand Staircase-Escalante // Upper Calf Creek Falls

There’s a weird tension between conservation and environmentalism; that tension lives in the difference of seeing nature as an object to be protected versus something we are connected to. This is foremost on my mind as we traverse the Grand Staircase-Escalante National Monument, the large swath of protected land, along with Bear’s Ears, that Donald Trump and the Department of the Interior has reduced and opened up to mining and drilling.

We are scaling down bare rock cliffs somewhere off of Cottonwood Canyon Road, trying to find the Upper Calf Creek Falls. There is limited shade and no obvious path that leads to the water.

We are not in the right place, carefully scaling down steep, slick rock with a sweeping vista of the surrounding plateaus. We can see a well-defined trail, except it’s a mile away across the river and on the other side of a crevice at least 60 feet deep. 

We’re running out of daylight and there’s no chance we’ll reach our intended destination, but I’m reminded of what I heard in my mind in Lake Powell, to slow down and bear witness to a place under threat. There is a tragic quality to the fact that a set of nativist ideologies around what it means to be “American” will likely reshape this place beyond recognition from its current state.

On our slow ascent back up to the road, the arresting realization I encounter is my inability to speak the language of the landscape, to understand the many histories it presents to us: of environmental destruction, colonial violence, imagined futures, and struggles over who gets to define a place. The story of any landscape can be told from many perspectives, a composite of fragmented myths, hearsay, maps, official archives, and local gossip. The substance of a land is both matter and myth; the dirt and rocks mixed up with the meanings we ascribe to it.

How we relate to the land is an embodiment of how we relate to one another. How we treat the land reveals how we treat one another. Is knowing this enough to change these conditions?

I’m finding myself

increasingly mesmerized by

the improbability of light, its irreducibility,

and the quiet persistence of

human kindness

people all over

in their little pockets

rearranging color and matter and stuff,

just to make every day

a bit more tolerable

a fractured glimpse into

the sum of relations,

scales of sound and light

ascending

towards an immensity

Deep in these skies, is

the brightening light of crisis

The contours of our lives

most fully revealed 

when we see what shadows

are cast onto them

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Where the Land Flows into Water

The Colorado River Basin, the large watershed we are in, covers seven states: Wyoming, Colorado, Utah, New Mexico, Nevada, Arizona, and California. The river is the primary source of water for 40 million people, with the states allocating water amongst them according to an agreement set out in 1922 through the Colorado River Compact. Each state needs to ensure that they have enough water for their farms and growing communities, to leave enough for the states that the river flows to after them, and collectively they make sure that Lake Powell is filled enough to power the turbines. All of these infrastructural and political choices have left an indelible mark on the landscape; human thought is, in many ways, itself a geological force.