If you're like us, you're always wondering about stupid things that you really don't need to waste your few remaining brains cells on. So you've probably wondered who would win in a taste-test-death-match between maple water and pineapple soda-pop.
Here's the blow-by-blow as we take these two drinks to the ring:
Getting it Open: The water box just twists open, but you have to use your teeth to pop the lid off the soda bottle
Coozie Fitting: The bottle looks cooler, but the box fits more snug.
Taste: Pineapple flavor is the magical urine of summer plant goddesses, but maple flavor is the woodsy bearded autumnal wizard's honey-hooch. Soooo… pick your season?
Authenticity: Everything is "authentic" especially artificial pineapple flavored soda-pop. That said the maple water comes from trees, so it might be a little more "authentic" since it has actual roots.
Sweetness: Maple water claims to have a "delightful hint-of-maple" sweetness, but pineapple soda-pop sweetness has 420-69% more rot-your-teeth-out sweetness.
Noise: The soda makes for great burps, but the water makes for great farts.
Healthy Vitamin Fact Stuff: They both have 0% protein, 0% fat, and 0% potassium (banana-juice). The soda has 95 more calories then the water. So if you don't like calories drink the water.
Popularity: The internet says that maple water is the new coconut water. Is that a fact? We're calling pineapple soda-pop the new naked water slide. So there!
Ok, so let's total up the scores (beep-boop-bong-dong-DING!): it's a tie!!! Mostly because we'll drink anything. It's just more fuel for the fire. We'll burn it off on our way up the mountain or paddling out to bigger waves.